Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I Know I am Missing It

Imagine your favorite one and only sports team that matters is winning, and is on a road to the biggest game of the season. This could be their year! The anticipation, the excitement, and the euphoria would be incredibly large. Emotions other than happy pale in your head and heart. That is all well and good if you don't suffer with depression. Chronic depression sucks!

A friend of mine took his own life last week because he was sick of "the fear and anxiety of living this way every day." This was a quote from his note he left his wife of 17 years, a note apologizing, explaining, and genuinely loving his wife and family. He was very smart, very funny, and talented to boot. He loved his wife, his sister, and his brother, and his Indianapolis Colts. The fact that I didn't know he was sick, and I couldn't help gets to me. The fact that he was suffering so, so deeply and just couldn't handle life, that is more deeply troubling to me and harder to understand.

For years as we watched the Colts we thought of Jim. He lived for them in good and bad times. He was a great photographer, winning awards for pictures taken. He was an outdoors man, and a very fun party guy. Esoterically, an observer would see he had so much to live for. But how could anyone know what evil is in another one's head? This world is such a puzzle, and personally, I can't wait for Christ's return so I could solve it.

A little research tells me that more than 10 million Americans suffer with this malady. There is no cure. There are treatment options, but in some cases that isn't good enough.

Good bye Jim, you will be missed. Thank you for giving me a little insight into your hell on earth. I pray sincerely that your peace is eternal, and your glory is at the feet of the Father.

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