Grace

I miss the days of my youth. Okay, some of the days - I can do without the whisper of memories - being stuffed in trash cans, crammed into school lockers, and openly mocked because I was tiny, unattractive, and good natured.

The theme is funny - looking, ha ha speaking, mostly - the conversation is about an embarrassment of blessings even though I am vastly ineligible. Let's discuss. Have you ever had something in your head that was exploding to get out, and yet was as absent as the Sun at midnight? The person who knows what is best for you, for everyone, in fact, and just purports opinions. I used to be that guy!

Experience has taught me that I know less than the next person - well maybe not less, but not any more. So the elephant in the room (on this paper) is screaming, "Why are you writing then, if you don't have superior intelligence, or an overwhelming experience?" The answer is simple. I need to express myself.

Expression comes to some in oratory, others in music, and many other facets of life. I can talk until your ears bleed, but I rarely get to a point. In my writing I can edit, rewrite, erase, and even use visual aids to get a point across. Am I assuming that I am a better writer than speaker? The answer is no - resoundingly! I just have the ability to be better, but that doesn't make it so.

There are people with which I wish I could hang out, or sit and talk to, or just follow around for laughs. I saw this story on Pinterest - click the link now, then come back and finish - I'll wait.
The story of Shane is a humorous reality - an example of how people love life.

My God made me to live and commune with Him here on earth. He gave me this twisted sense of humor. He has also shaped my growth as a man who truly loves to worship and celebrate being His follower. I have weaknesses, or failings, and miraculously through my booboos He can be glorified, exalted, and seen for the Great and Awesome God He is.

When Paul says he put childish things away when he became a man in I Corinthians 13, I see what he means now more clearly. We learn, grow, and thrive as children - and then we learn that things like blurting out conversations in private are not wise, or that if we don't pick up our toys they get lost or broken. We learn to fix our meals to keep hunger at bay, and we gravitate to people that make us feel love and comfort.

Paul told the Roman church to build up the weaker and Praise God  - and the Bible is to teach us -  Rom 15. 1-4. It is this example of building up my friends and family that I write to you - be glad, be active, and be involved. God loves you and wants you to talk with Him

Thankfulness

Humanity - what a cop out, an easy excuse. This is very hard, to see perfection all around and know that I fall as short as Eddie Gaedel (shortest ballplayer ever) in EVERY category. I see suffering and so much bleakness all around me - just to watch the TV commercials and see cancer, crime, the economy, and all other forms of evil resolutely ingrained into our thoughts - I am thankful that the Light in my Life shines regardless of my understanding or commitment at the time.

I can take the time to write, but never fully encompass all that I am thankful for in this blog, and it will take me a few days. This is my list, with a small explanation in accompaniment.

I am most thankful for Jesus, God's only Son, who gave me the supreme example of love by dying for me. Only because of Him can I have the hope of Heaven for eternity. I rejoice today and every day for the gift of Faith, Hope, and Love from the Lord. When I screw it all up, I am thankful for His promise to never stop loving me.

I daily Thank God for my best friend, my help-mate, my wife Pam. Her exploits of patience and Love are legendary at the Huntley Home. The short response is to say she is amazing, and I am so blessed to be with her. It is a fact that many have written me off, given me the gate, yet she still loves me and most days I can't see why.

My seven children - Jessica, Andrew, Laura, Bradley, Charles J., Douglas, and Karyl - every day I grow more proud of the adults they are, their feats and failures. and their growth as humans. They teach me almost every day and are always helping mew shape who I am.

   Jessica, how you have grown and made a beautiful family. I thank God for you often.
   Andrew, for your wisdom and strong character I thank God - you make me extremely proud to know you and your sweet family.
   Laura, God truly blessed my life with your family and the joy of watching you grow to be such a stable and beautiful woman, mom, and wife.
   Bradley, I thank God for your gentle servant-spirit --- you are an amazingly successful man and I am proud of you.
   C.J., I am sorry I screwed you up with a broken home, but am so thankful God has saved you from your heart problems for great things.
   Douglas, you are still young and I praise God for your attitude and strength of character. What a fantastic young man you are.
   Karyl, my baby, my miracle - in you I see so much of your mother, but the DNA attached to me often overwhelms us - you are a beautiful young lady who continues to grow in love and knowledge of your parents and your older siblings, carving a path of greatness.

I am so thankful for parents who have shown me that learning, growing, and trying to be better people is a lifetime responsibility. They raised me to be the Christian man I am. Still today as an older man I am vastly dependent on their wisdom, experience, and God-following character. When I grow up I do want to be like them, as they labor to be like Christ.

As parents go, I am also thankful for Pam's parents. They love completely and unconditionally, even though I am grafted into their family through marriage, they truly show love in that they did not choose me - they were stuck with me.

I thank God every day for the gifts He has given me - for beautiful sunshiny days I can be out umpiring baseball or even when I was coaching. Thank You Lord for the ability to talk to folks, any folks and make friends.

I am thankful for a family; aunts, uncles, cousins too numerous to name individually yet as a collective they have taught me, supported me, and even rebuked me to make me the man I am.

For friends who tolerate my silliness, my immaturity, and all my goofiness and yet still want to hang out and talk with me.

I am so very thankful for the mistakes I've made, the lessons I've learned. I need only think of the 'what ifs' to know that resentment and bitterness are not helpful. Things could be much, much worse, shining a beacon as evidence of God's providence in my steps even though I traveled the wrong path often.

The thankfulness in my heart is also extends to the opportunity for multiple chances. As I said in the beginning, I feel like I fail so often and see others walk through life without consequence. That is how I feel, even though my brain knows that is false. Maybe my next choice will succeed. I look back and see God's success in many of my choices.

Sports Movies

"When this old world starts getting me down ..." I don't go to the roof - I watch a movie. Recently I conducted a very unscientific poll of astute men and women who are my personal Facebook friends. I inquired about the three best sports movies ever. A sampling of several (17 out of the over 400 to be exact) shows that the favorite movie is The Natural. Twenty Four different movies were selected, and baseball was the overwhelming favorite sport of the movies, but maybe that is because so many more baseball movies exist compared to the other sports.

What conclusions can we draw? At most two. First, I don't like The Natural so I am not a popularity kind-of-guy. Also, I am in to the more obscure sports movies and not the popular ones. I just thought I would preface this little rant with a true fact from my life.

I am excited about this football season. I have goose bumps thinking that this year's World Series may go seven games. Every hockey club in the NHL has the hope of this year being their year. I love sports. I love movies. I love to laugh.  The merging of these three loves brings me to the doorstep of Caddyshack, Bull Durham, and Slapshot. The Sandlot, A League of Their Own, and Necessary Roughness are also movies that make laughter instead of drama.

If I need a little inspiration, Remember The Titans, is on my watch list, along with Rocky, Miracle, and Invincible. If I am feeling sentimental, The Greatest Game Ever Played, Hoosiers, and The Blind Side are in my DVD player.

The absolute favorite DVD of mine is the Denver Broncos Anthology 2 Disc history of the Broncos from 1960 through Elway's retirement. Listening to Bob Martin, Larry Zimmer, and Dave Logan recount the NFL franchise from it's most inept until it's Super Bowl victories.

At my house, if I am watching a Sports movie or a Western, there is plenty of room on the couch to watch with me, because I am the only one watching.

Brain Power - Amazing

"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." James 1.8 KJV

 

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Aristotle

 

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4.8 NLT
 

 “The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can't are both right." Henry Ford

When I was a wee lad, I had a very sharp mind. I absorbed everything; books, conversations, games, music, movies, television, and anything else that crossed my path. Unfortunately, I learned to be lazy and act the fool so that I never had to work hard. I graduated from High School, but with my mortar board and diploma things like study skills and drive to learn stayed behind.

 

Then as a young adult I was a mess - Bitter, immature, and flopping around from school to school, job to job until I had two kids, one divorce, and was working at a church that didn't want me around, as well as a second job as a Security Officer. My life was not where I'd dreamed it would be. I did nothing to attain my dreams, and while God and I were on a first name basis, the body of Christ and I had issues. I watched as friends had mentors and accountability partners, and I had nothing of the kind. I blamed everyone else for my plight, my lack of success career-wise, family-wise, and just plain inner me -wise - as if all around me those people were a sticky food substance and I was a Teflon pan in which nothing could stick. For you youngsters who are lost with the Teflon analogy, Google it.

My career as a youth pastor was over. My new path as a bitter divorced father was moving down the road and accelerating when God put an angel in my path. I met an amazing woman that was going through a divorce and she had three amazing children. She wasn't hateful or bitter toward her ex outwardly. She didn't use her children as power play pieces to emasculate or denigrate him. Instead, she allowed him to pay less child support than the court ordered, just to use what was needed, and still allow him to live. She was sweet, nurturing, and patient - qualities I truly admired in a person that had her heart ripped by infidelity of her spouse.

Her love and her relationship with God were so healthy and helpful to me as I began to crawl out of the muck I had been living in spiritually. As I reminisce I can see clearly now that God let me talk to Him in anger, in frustration, in contriteness, and even in reverence. Pam was a beautiful example of joy, love, and patience, and I began to see there was a big difference between loving someone unconditionally and not accepting their behavior if it was improper or incorrect.

So now, close to twenty years have flown by since this angel took my heart and gave me hers. I have been unsuccessful many more times than I have been triumphant at showing consistently how deep and strong my love for her has become. I don't deserve her at all, but as Christ loves us, she continually personifies that covenant of love we made to each other. So you've been reading for five paragraphs and you are asking, "What does any of this have to do with the title?" The answer is maybe more complicated than I want it to be, and since my own deficiency in communicating is a thorn in my flesh I hope I can clearly explain.

 When I sit and look at my past, both distant and most current, I can see mistakes. When I envision my future, I can't get past mistakes I've already made. Numerous conversations with Pam, and other family tell me decisively that "Do it!" is the directive, but failure haunts me. My brain has convinced me that regardless of evidence to the contrary I can not even start, let alone succeed. I KNOW this is contradictory to God's Word, as well as common sense, but the power between my ears is a crippling and divisive. Am I a mess or what?