Dory could be my favorite movie character of all time - the little bright blue fish with short term memory loss and the knack to remain so positive is definitely in the top five, and if I weighed the pros and cons, I could waste an hour and argue she is the best. However, that is not the point of this diatribe. I have learned so much this last year. I learned that 'failure' is not a noun, but a verb. Interestingly enough, so is 'success'. I learned that while I wallow in self-pity and despair from the inability to get my career moving, allowing petty things like no money and a failing grade in algebra to keep me from achieving my Bachelor's Degree up until now, not being able to re-enter the work force after twelve years of being a stay home dad, my body's steady decline of strength and resilience and inability to perform athletically all made me unhappy to the point of despair.
These things don't get me down today, even though they are all real and potentially depression creating. There is only one reason - love - as my high school choir teacher so eloquently would say, "Not the 'l*u*v' that country western singers describe, but the big 'L', the real thing." This one thing is my solace. Like Dory, I do enjoy adventure. Over the years I have become crippled by failure, but not so long ago I would plunge into any situation just to do it, to feel alive. The failure that had me sidelined has been evaporated by love. Love of a Creator who made me, knows me, and wants me to willingly become His follower. His love sent to earth a Savior, Jesus, who took all the crap and ugliness of my life and washed it away with His blood as He died for all my sins, even though He was sinless Himself. That kind of love is so worth getting off my pity poor caboose and trying again.
Love is not just a spiritual thing, because my wife proves every minute of every day how much love can do. She is a wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, neighbor, and friend. An amazingly dedicated and skilled nurse, she has been relegated to middle management supervisor and now is the whipping boy of her managers, who dump every unenviable task on her because they can. I often used to ask why she puts up with such behavior from her bosses, and she has told me time and time again - it finally soaked into this very thick melon atop my shoulders - she has to do this because without it we have no food, no house, nothing for the kids. She takes all the abuse and goes back day after day out of love for us, her family.
The love is not exclusive with God and my wife. I continue to receive love from two wonderful and generous parents, who have had their share of humiliation and disappointment having to raise a son like me. Yet they remain steadfast, and keep me and my family in their present thoughts and prayers. The same could be said for my in laws, who have graciously opened their lives to me and love me as if I was theirs.
I have some very good friends as well. I am truly blessed to have so much. Like Dory, I know that no matter what obstacle arises I meet it and "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."
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